Why Attachment Wounds Feel So Intense in February

February is the month of heart-shaped everything.
But when you’re healing from betrayal, this month doesn’t always feel sweet.
Sometimes it pokes the very wounds you’ve been trying so hard to tend.

I hear women say:

“I don’t know if I’ll ever trust again.”
“I’m scared of loving someone.”
“I don’t even know how to love myself right now.”
“My body reacts even when my mind wants to be open.”

So let me say this clearly…

There is nothing wrong with you.

Your system isn’t failing.
Your body is responding to an attachment injury — not a personal inadequacy.

When the person who should have been your safest place became the source of betrayal, your nervous system reorganized itself around survival.

Of course this month feels tender.

This is exactly why we’re talking about what an attachment injury really is — and how you begin healing it from the inside out.

⭐️ What Is an Attachment Injury? (And Why It Hits So Deep)

An attachment injury happens when the person you depend on for emotional safety becomes the person who harms you.
This isn’t ordinary heartbreak — this is a rupture that affects your entire internal system.

After betrayal, your body learns:

• love isn’t predictable

• closeness isn’t safe

• connection requires self-abandonment

• staying attuned to the other person keeps the peace

• your needs create conflict

• your feelings don’t matter

• your voice isn’t safe

• you can’t rest

And these patterns don’t live in your thinking mind — they live in your body.

⭐️ How Attachment Injuries Show Up Somatically

In my somatic work — Brainspotting, DBR-informed processing, and Martin Warner’s Alexander Technique interweaves — attachment injury often appears as:

• tightening in the chest when someone gets close

• shutting down during conflict

• overgiving to keep the peace

• anxiety when someone doesn’t respond

• dissociation during intimacy

• difficulty knowing what you want

• collapsing into “I’ll just figure it out myself”

These are not flaws.
These are adaptive survival responses.

Your body protected you in the relationship you were in.
Healing now is simply helping your system learn a new story.

And you don’t have to figure that out alone.

⭐️ You’re Not Afraid of Love — You’re Afraid of Losing Yourself Again

Most women think they’re afraid of relationships.

But in reality?

They’re afraid of:

• abandoning themselves

• repeating old patterns

• not seeing red flags soon enough

• being blindsided again

• ignoring intuition

• being dismissed or controlled

• choosing someone who hurts them

This isn’t fear of love.
This is fear of self-loss.

And honestly? That fear makes sense. Completely.

Healing your attachment system is not about forcing yourself to be open.
It’s about helping your body trust you again.

When you stop abandoning yourself:

Love feels safer.
Connection feels clearer.
Boundaries feel stronger.
Red flags feel obvious.
Your body becomes your guide instead of your guard.

⭐️ Somatic Practice: The Love-and-Safety Check-In

Do this every morning for the next seven days.

Ask your body:

“What do you need from me today to feel safe with me?”

Then pause.
Breathe.
Listen.

Your body might want:

• rest

• hydration

• movement

• stillness

• warmth

• alone time

• boundaries

• gentleness

• space to cry

• to not be rushed

• to not fix everything

Your relationship with you is the foundation of every other relationship you will have.

Let February be the month you rebuild that bond.

⭐️ Support for Your Attachment Healing

Intimacy Within (Self-Paced Course)

If attachment wounds are part of your story, this course helps you reconnect with yourself through the 7 levels of intimacy — starting internally. It’s gentle, deep, and gives you the language your body has been craving.

Somatic Healing Sessions

If you’re feeling anxious, shut down, confused, or reactive, your nervous system may need support.
Somatic work is the pathway out of the old patterns.

Costa Rica Women’s Healing Retreat in July

If your body is longing for a deeper reset this year, something very special is coming. Join Choose Recovery Services ALana Gordon, Hali Roderick and myself for the most incredible healing experience. This retreat is for the woman who has done significant healing work and is ready to rise into her next phase of wholeness.

You long for joy, rest, and soulful connection. You feel the pull for something more, a high-vibrational space to release what’s heavy, and awaken your energy for the life you are meant to live.

In the lush jungles of Costa Rica, you’ll find the sacred intersection of deep healing, luxury, and adventure, a space where advanced trauma modalities meet soul-level renewal.

⭐️ You’ve Got This

You are not too broken to love.
You are not too damaged to connect.
You don’t have to force readiness.
You don’t have to pretend you’re unaffected.

Your attachment wounds are not evidence of failure.
They’re evidence of how deeply you loved, how much you gave, and how fiercely your body tried to protect you.

May February be the month you return to yourself with the tenderness you always deserved.

Amie Woolsey